As I sit here and question myself “Am I Perceiving things correctly?”. I reached out to a few people who know me better than me.
“Do you think I treat people like idiots?” I say to one of my best friends. Without a second thought she replied “no you are not, you are very respectful”
Another person said whoever called you that is an idiot themselves.
Why is it when one person is perceiving one thing, another person is perceiving differently? Do we have different colour spectacles for different occasions? Also, how much of our past affects how we see things today?
Why is conditioning and perception so interlinked?
Conditioning is like putting a set of blinkers on a horse.
It is well and good to keep the focus of the horse to one area but what happens when you take the blinkers off.
It is like an information overload.
Conditioning of a human is dangerous as it keeps them in one comfort zone. Once the blinkers are off the information overload is so overwhelming. They would much prefer to stay in that comfort zone created for them by others.
Conditioning also creates mind traps that people use to judge others.
If others have written your script for you, then the conformity trap is predominant. Subconsciously we unwittingly use it to filter information.
Having had bad experiences in the past leads to using the confirmation and catastrophising trap.
You will be accessing clues to confirm of your point of view. You sometimes even glossing over the good bits to come to the same conclusion.
This can then lead to catastrophising that it will turn out bad in the long run.
This is akin to jumping to conclusions. What happens if you are wrong?
What happens if the information you interpreted is wrong?
What happens if the complete opposite is true?
People have lost friendships over jumping to conclusions. Partners have split up because they have misinterpreted a situation. Families have fallen out due to crossed wires.
The problem with perceiving
Once in these mind traps, it is hard to find a way out. It becomes hardwired into the brain and the subconscious. This then becomes a default setting within us, a comfort zone we can retreat to when things get rough.
If the past has been cruel to us, it can be scary when someone displays compassion and respect.
It is unfamiliar territory and your mind will trick you into believing their intentions are selfish and evil. So you push them away unintentionally.
Take a moment to step into that person’s shoes, how would they feel that they are being pushed away for being genuine? Would you want that done to yourself?
Imagine now for a moment that you are standing there in front of them, wielding a knife. The knife is your past and your perceptions are you using that knife to stab the other person.
How does that look to you? Horrible?
It has happened to you in the past, now you are doing it without thought to others, how does that make you feel?
This is where boundaries come into play.
Once out of the bad situation you found yourself in, you need to set that boundary work through your past and heal it.
We all need boundaries of what we feel is acceptable. Any unacceptable behaviour to us and need to exercise those boundaries.
When was the last time you reacted negatively towards someone?
Ask yourself, was I coming from a place of unhealed trauma from the past? Or was I experiencing a boundary break?
The answer to this is how you feel inside.
Reacting angrily to something or becoming upset is the best indicator that it is a trigger.
You have a duty to yourself to explore it to find its source this is true healing.
Pushing the feelings down and blaming another for how you feel is self-destruction.
If this is an issue that affects you, the feel free to message me here so we can discuss your situation in greater depth.
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